I heard the pastor at my grandmother's memorial service say that she understood that God was in no way putting the cancer on her. Well, to an extent, I believe that. But my question is why did she get it? What wheel of fate gave her that ugly card? I want to know who or what gave it to her? I can't accept that her body did it on its own. How and why would it do that?
I also question the trials we go thru as humans on this planet. If someone is not pulling strings why does shit happen. Why is there cancer, AIDS, mental illness and physical impairments (especially in children).
I am very emotional and stressed right now. I feel confused and like I am in a fog. You know my husband and I were "good" kids, we did everything we were suppose to. We went to school, got jobs, got married, had babies, bought a house, taking care of business. So, why is it that when the shit hits the fan it all falls down on us?
I hate being without my husband during the week, but can't just pick up and leave our home. We can't afford two households, so he has to stay with my parents and I hate it. I like to take care of my husband, my mom does not want to take care of a son-in-law. Mom is busy being a wife and mother to my father and brother. She expects things from Rey and doesn't realize he was not raised the way she or I was.
Also, why can't my house sell? It is in good condition, a decent neighborhood, large and with some updates. The price was lowered and absolutely no one is looking at it. Hello!!!!! I know the market is slow, but come on. I just want to live with my husband again. Realtor is very helpful and just repeats herself, "market is slow" "market is slow" "market is slow". UGH!!!
Now, why does crap happen at the most inopportune times? What is the deal? Rey just really needs a blow out on the way to Grandma's memorial? Who has that sick sense of humor? I just don't get it!!
Sorry about the length of this post but I had to vent. This is a great place to do it. Your comments and thoughts would be most welcome.
3 comments:
cancer, aids, etc are the results of living unhealthy lifestyles...i am not saying that your grandmother lived unhealthy, but this type of stuff can be passed down from generation to generation, multiplying until it shows itself in all its ugly form...over the years, people have disregarded any type of healthy living, and are suffering the fruits of their decisions...more prisons, more hospitals, more deaths, more diseases, more deformities, etc...your pastor is partially correct...your Heavenly Father is not zapping people with diseases and 'curses'...they are doing it to themselves and to future generations because they have disregarded the things He said we need to do to live.
your house will sell when it is time...don't become impatient...i know you want to be with your husband, but accept this test for what it is...a test...
I know what you are going through...after Mom died I kept asking why her? Why did she get this disease? At least the doctors knew what your grandma had. Mom's doctors never did figure out why her liver failed.
As to the house...when Mom and Dad sold their house in Abilene it took nearly a year. And it was in a great neighborhood, was huge, and had a pool. It will sell when the time is right. I know things are rough right now. Hopefully they will get better soon. :-)
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